Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Carter Coaching Classes

I teach Jholi Gola aka Basket Ball for you Hindi impaired imbeciles. I make you sign contracts (in triplicate, if you are in India). I also make you quote poetry and force you to have a high GPA. For this I get nothing, no Oscar, no award, in my Jholi. Not even Angelina Jolie. Next movie or next life, Amen.

I am Samuel son of Jack and though I am father of one of the players in the movie, thats no feather in my topi. Cos I don't wear any. The birds of same feather flock together in pubs, streets and do drugs. I am here to stop them so that they don't die of bandook ki goli. No Homicide, only suicides. Play gola. Run with Lola. Run you will for I will make you run for the entire running length of the film. Its a moving picture, you idiot.

Because the players are bursting with hormones, I teach them the moves of the game and codeword them after my non-existent sisters. The scum bags, they let run their fantasies wild courting the gola and yell for my sisters during the game. So much for winning. No Sir, its not only about winning. You gotta have a good GPA, remember. All play, no classes and lo, Jack (not my father) is benched till he has good grades. Fair trade, no. This Pappu has to pass his tests before he passes the ball.

Y'all dogs, if you wanna learn from me, you go watch Coach Carter. I bet you if you are disappointed then its 100 suicides for me.

Before I call it quits, I leave you with "Our deepest fear"

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


Cinema Paradiso

Trust Ambani to think BIG. After BIG Entertainment, BIG Music, they come up with BIG FLIX. Those who have tasted blood in celluloid with Blockbuster stores know what I am talking about. A DVD/VCD rental service, with an online, phone and SMS feature to order for free pick-up and drop facilities with no due dates. Matra rupaye 299 mein ! I can avail original DVDs rather than pirated ones available at the local DVD store. Whoopee !!!!

"A small step by Ambani, A giant leap for my kind"
I know this was bad. But its way better than Ravi "Lalit Modi is Moses" Shastri. For a movie buff like me this is God sent. For that I will definitely watch Bhakta Prahlada in orignal as my obeisance.

As far as my experience, it has been satisfying apart from a little clunky website. That's nitpicking, I know. If you are residing in any of the cities that has BIG FLIX stores, I strong recommend that you go for it. Its show time, folks.

Monday, June 09, 2008

The seamstress

A veil of the beauty, the cloth had hubris,
With the cursed wind the fortress breached,
Scarred by the evil eye, the beauty laid,
She took respite in the raging blade,
One drop at a time, the shine is replaced.
One tear at a time, the cloth disgraced.

The cloth is weary and torn in grief
The blood, sharpened by knife, is relieved
One stain at a time she washes
One sin at a time she cleanses

One stitch at a time, the seamstress weaves
One wound at a time, she heals

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Statue-tory warning

Mayawati wants it big. Yes, its statue time in Mayan civilization. Mayawati wants her bigger than Kanshi Ram. In a fleeting moment of englightenment, she did not like herself and her expressions molded in metal.




And maya-nagari Mumbai wants Shivaji's statue bigger than that one in Chennai for the other Shivaji "Mind-it" Rajnikanth. Sorry, it wants bigger than that of Statue of Liberty. What difference does it make.

The pigeons are one happy lot, though. At least somebody will benefit. But what if they complain: Bhala mera putla uske putle se chhota kaise ?



In other story, petrol goes high by Rs 5 and diesel by Rs 3. That still does not explain low traffic on my blog. It crawls.