एक पेड़ हुआ करता था यहा पर

एक पेड़ हुआ करता था यहा पर

डाली डाली क़िस्सा था,

हर पत्ता किरदार था

सर्द गरम या हो बारिश

हर चर्चा मज़ेदार था

कभी डाली रोती पत्तो के आँसू

और यूँ पतझड़ आ जाता था

हर टहनी जब खिल कर हस्ती

मानो बसंत छा जाता था

देखे उसने कई ज़माने

हर दशक का दर्शक था

माटी ईंट और पत्थर

अब सिमेंट का जंगल था

जिसको दी थी उसने छाया

आज वो इसका भक्षक था

अब रहा ना वो पेड़ यहा पर

अब तो वो सिर्फ़ लकड़ा था

जिस पर बैठा इंसान हैं

उस कुर्सी का हिस्सा था

एक पेड़ हुआ करता था यहा पर

डाली डाली क़िस्सा था...

Blast from the Past continues

More blast from the past. I had this urge for creative musings some 10 years back when i was in my 3rd week stay in USA.
It is not at all relevant or significance or will not even make a change in your life. No divine luck will dawn upon you. Neither you will attain salvation reading this. Having eloquently desribed the purpose of it above. Please read on.
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Hi folks,

Its been long time since I wrote..what rot..wrote,kapda aur makaan, but I was really very busy...there comes all the brickbats... but I did miss you all... what no bouquets... oh you caught me this time... howzzat !! thought for writing for so long but when I now sit down to write..I am lost..know not what to write...but phir bhi, read on...

Life in Raleigh, that cannot be describe in one word..

People do ask me how do I feel in america.. (yeah, I am a celebrity..I do miss my fans and I dont have a fan in my home..) well, I do not know about that, its a mix bag.. at times, the feeling is exhilarating and at times frustrating, so nothing has changed, except for the ambience, I mean, the surroundings are different, from India to US but goals and work has not changed, I am still working hard, though its really hard to work at times,  I still sleep at odd hours, and during even hours, oh..forget it...

I am scared at times for I cannot foresee the future, what it holds, and I am optimistic at times, that whatever it holds, it holds for good. I get apprehensive and pensive with no funding and aid...but I am ecstatic at least I dont have AIDS... I feel nostalgic and home sick at times..but then remember the times when I used to feel sick at home.. I feel isolated with my best friends not around and I miss them all but then there are times when I feel lucky that I can give some of the people a miss.. I get nightmares that everything is gonna fall apart but I dream that world is gonna be a better place..(altruism,nah..just plain me ...)

So this is really me, I am an ABCD, american based confused desi and I was no better in india where I was a NRI,not required indian, so what has changed, the change is gradual, I am realising my responsibilities, and also realising how to avoid them... though it may take some time to change my perspective... the truth I am not at the center of the world and world does not revolve around me is a revelation... but the Narcissus within me is still alive..no wonder I have so many mirrors in my house...

Life is cold and warm at the same time, its funny and tragic, caring and supporting but also a strict task master... may be life contradicts itself.. even I feel contradiction is my best friend.. its always like these, if there is a Yin then Yang will be somewhere nearby.. a day always follow the night.. good times are right behind the bad.. may be there is Hope, tomorrow is another day !!

If you understood what I wrote please explain it to me, for I could not,  I just wrote, Dil Se..

A little bit of Zen, a little bit of sin

Again, blast from the past...few thoughts on Asoka (2001). This was written in November, 2001. The title comes from the quote used by Santosh Sivan, director of Asoka.

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Much has been said about asoka. Its been panned to glory. The movie most of us love to hate. I too have my 2 cents on this movie.

Asoka, the movie is an experience. Its been bad for many and some of us have enjoyed it. I fall in the later category. I agree with the makers that Asoka the movie is "a little bit of zen and a little bit of sin". India knows who was Ashoka, the emperor. He was the brightest star in indian history. Asoka, the movie does not give a damn about the obvious instead it dwelves into asoka,the man. The man before destiny made him ashoka, the great. Here lies the greatness and the pitfall of the movie. It tries to understand the psyche of the neglected son of Bindusara who adores his mother. Who wants that his mother gets her due as the wife of bindusara and not his dasi. (watch for Asoka's expression when the king does not reward him after his triumph of Takshila)

One of the key scene is when a Buddhist monk tells Asoka that his destiny transcends that of an emperor. His destiny is that of a traveller when he completes his journey. Here is the soul of the movie. It tries to follow the journey of Asoka who does not know where he is heading. And if you dont know where are you heading, no direction is wrong.

What made Asoka transform into how we now him is the crux of the movie. He lost the love of his mother and the girl he loved (this is where folk stories come into picture). How many of us when we lose the things we love react, we become cynical and either we become depressed or we become angry. Asoka was a warrior,he chose to become angry. He became avenging and scheming king who did not fear death. (Another thing that i like were the dialogues instead of monologues, they were short, sweet and simple). Killing his brothers he says "Can i be allowed to be the king now?", a touch of sarcasm, a macabre humor.

The highlight of the movie is the post-war scene when Asoka is looking for Kaurwaki, its a magic scene. Its twilight and sun and the moon and the stars shining, as if nature is looking forward to the history that is being created. Asoka sees the death, the gory, the sadness and he sees Love, he sees Kaurwaki and dead Arya. Life comes full circle, the journey is completed. Asoka is a changed man. Movie ends, History begins.

Yuhin Chala chal

I had penned the following sometime in 2008. Reproduced in 2010. Hope you would like it.

तू परवाज़ भर, परवाह ना कर

अंबर पर चल, गिरने से ना डर

पाएगा ज़मीन गिरकर भी अगर

बन जा वो ज़ररा तू फलक से उपर

काँटे की वफ़ा, फूलों का दगा,

राहों पर ना कर इसकी परवाह,

चलता ही चल, रुकना ना ज़रा,

तू खुद को खुद का यार बना

मिल जाएँगे तुझे हसीन मंज़र

जो ढूंढेगा उनको अपने अंदर,

रोता हैं क्या, बैठा हैं क्यूँ

चल फिर से उठ और जी जान लगा

पूछेगा तुझे एक दिन वो खुदा

हो जाएगा जब दुनिया से जुदा

पाया हैं क्या खोया हैं क्या

कैसा रहा सफ़र तेरा

मक़सद तेरा वो पूरा हुआ

जो कर गुज़ारा जो करने चला

- विशेष अग्रवाल