Mera Joota Hain...

Iraaqi.

Its a plane, Its a bird, No, its a shoe!  

The pen is mightier than the sword. But the shoe is mightier than a pen.

A journalist in Iraq did not beat around the bush but beat the Bush with his Hush Puppies. 

I hope this act is contagious and like bird flu flies into our country.  

Hazaaro neta aise, har neta pe yeh joote nikle,

Bahut nikle yeh joote, magar phir bhi unka na dum nikle!

As they say to begin a journey of thousands miles, you need your shoes.

The greatest job on this earth...

For you, what is THE job on this earth? 

In Google ? Intel ? Microsoft? IAS officer?  

Doctor? Lawyer? Filmstar? Politician?

The one that pays well ? Lot of perks, recognitions? Job satisfaction, travelling aroun the world etc?  You may find answers in unexpected places.

On 26th November, also working were the hotel staff at Taj or Oberoi,  the measly paid Railway Policemen or almost at minimum wage paid train annoucners at CST.

Michael Pollack describes his experience with hospitality of Taj on that day. Do read it just in case you happen to visit Taj any time in future.

And if you happen to catch a local train at CST,  Vishnu Zende and Jillu Yadav may also help you.

Now coming back to your job, there is only person who can make it the greatest job on this earth. You. Don't tell me you were suprised with the answer. Oh c'mon.

Animal farm of India.

After terror, it was followed by horror which bordered on ridicule and insanity. Its like bander ke haath mein talwaar! The only difference is there are 540+ monkeys and a stray dog. 

RR Patil saab feels that he is SRK and he pays a price for his delusion. Bade desh mein ek aur chhota haadsa ho gaya!

Vilas Rao goes a step further and says "Wah Taj" with his filmi-son and RGV. RGV ki Aag burnt him too.

Naqvi can only see the powder and lipstick. When will he be shown the stick?

While Achutanandan picks up a dog fight. I think the Dhobi just found his new kutta.

Modi bashes up Karkare when he was alive and then Modi-fies his stand to pay his respect and 1 crore to Karkare's widow. 

Sharmila Thackeray sends SMSes that all the martyrs were Marathi Manoos. I guess she must have been tempted to blame the Northies this time too.

Last heard, there is infighting now after new CM of Maharashtra is chosen.

But don't worry, Shivraj Patil was changing his bandhgala when all of these happened. Luckily, his mouth is bandh too. For good now.

Funny, these are our leaders. Funnier, we chose them. Funniest, most of us didn't, we did not vote, right.

Change. Its time.

"How did it come to this?"

"So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?"

- Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"We should bomb Pakistan"

" We need a dictator"

"We should encounter all the so-called politicians and leaders"

"India is not safe, me off to some other better country"

These were all knee-jerk reactions. Reactions and not responses. Its been more than a week since the attack on Bombay. The anger has been given words, the hate against hate been expressed. Now, the real ordeal begins. 

I have been introspecting. I want things to change, for better.  I want to be an agent of change (not a Ray-ban wearing Agent Change, Mr Anderson!). Lighting candles, taking out protest march and voicing the angst is good. I am not denying that. It shows solidarity, it shows I care. 

Then what? How do I make myself accountable for the change? I want to internalize the process of this change. 

I have decided on 2-point steps that I want to follow now in my daily dealings.

1. F**k Mediocrity. The M word should not be my way of life.

2. Stay above board every time.

If I can get these right, I think it will be a good start. Rest, they will say in future, is history.

Reminds me of a sher that sums up my thoughts.

Khudi ko kar buland itna, 

ki har taqdeer likhne se pehle,

Khuda khud bande se yeh puche,

bata teri raza kya hain!

Statue-tory warning

Mayawati wants it big. Yes, its statue time in Mayan civilization. Mayawati wants her bigger than Kanshi Ram. In a fleeting moment of englightenment, she did not like herself and her expressions molded in metal.




And maya-nagari Mumbai wants Shivaji's statue bigger than that one in Chennai for the other Shivaji "Mind-it" Rajnikanth. Sorry, it wants bigger than that of Statue of Liberty. What difference does it make.

The pigeons are one happy lot, though. At least somebody will benefit. But what if they complain: Bhala mera putla uske putle se chhota kaise ?



In other story, petrol goes high by Rs 5 and diesel by Rs 3. That still does not explain low traffic on my blog. It crawls.

Tale of Indian cities

Paul Graham in his latest essay begins with "Great cities attract ambitious people".

You always need a tipping point for anything to get effective, be a philosophy, a style statement or a revolution. Cities help in building a critical mass of people. and that critical mass acts as a tipping point.

Do Indian cities attract ambitious people. Do they have the right critical mass.

I am sure Bombay used to do. People coming from UP, Bihar, Punjab, from everywhere to become Bollywood stars. Or more enterprising lot from Gujarat or Marwar riding their luck on Dalal street. Sadly, Mumbai attracts hooligans. Holy Guns! From Maximum city to minimum tolerance.

Bangalore attracts cheer leadars. Yeah, it still has a high influx of every one and anyone who wants to ride the IT wave. Does it really attract the most ambitious technologists.

Ahmedabad, my home town, attracts all the Schumachers and Raikkonnens with license to kill. Of course,you have to drive on the wrong side (i.e. the correct side in US) to really reach your final destination. Lan(e)s are for computer networks. You see, Ahmedabad is closer to Amrika than anywhere else.

So who does your city attracts ?

On a side note, the more I travel the more I see that cities in India are losing their individuality. All the buildings look the same wherever I go. The clothes that people wear or their life style is not very different from city to city. There is no differentiation left. I don't know if that is something to worry or cheer about that finally India is becoming a homogeneous country.

Making of a Prophet

by Bertrand Russell.

"Ignore fact and reason, live entirely in the world of your own fantastic and myth-producing passions; do this whole-heartedly and with conviction, and you will become one of the prophets of your age."

Did Raj Thackeray read it, I wonder.

I found the essay via PickTheBrain blog. Do visit the site. It has got some real good articles on self-improvement. No, I am not kidding, really.

A curious incident of the dog in the night time

A dog is man's best friend but not when he is in an aircraft ready for take-off.

According to CNN-IBN, an aircraft came to halt because of a dog.
With a "spiritual" co-incidence, the Kingfisher plan hit a Black Dog.

It seems the dog took fancy to the aircraft and wanted to relieve himself.
Why nobody mentions about the fate of the dog. Where is Maneka Gandhi?

Train the pilots for Indian conditions, will you ? They should take a cue from US Air force which is devising a Flight Simulator using traffic data from Indian roads. Alrite, I made this one up. But think about it.

As Forrest Grrrrump would say life is a dog! You never know which aircraft will come and hit you.
That's all I have to say about that.

India Calling

Why nobody in India is really listening....

Team India ?

Note: This was written before Chak De! phenomenon hit Indian sports scene. Though much has still remain the same.

I sometimes wonder that why we (the Indians I mean) are not able to pull off grand feats more regularly. Why we don't have a Golden Gate or Hoover Dam or other such megastructures. The last great thing we build was the Taj[1].

Or take for that matter why there has not been any killer-apps[2] from India in this last decade. Or why we are so lousy in our day to day life when it comes to traffic management or project management.

I have this theory which tries to explain some of the reasons. I think an average Indian does not play team sports, much less understand it. By team sports, I mean where team work is the essential component for excellence such as football, hockey and basketball. For me, there is a cricket team but it still is a limited team sport. On more days, we win because of individual brilliance. Also, the interaction at physical level is very minimal. Its more of an elitist game. Its not as raw as football or hockey where the players not only interact as cohesive force but also have lot of physical proximity. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to propagate an alternate life style or sexual culture. Its just that cricket does not break the divide of untouchability (metaphorically speaking) between players as good as the aforementioned sports.

Indians have excelled in chess. We have made some mark in tennis and badminton and squash. Yes, we used to excel in hockey too. So somewhere we had understood the concept of team only to lose it again.

But my contention is not of the national representation in these sports but at a more individual level. At school or college, most of the kids play cricket. Some of them play other individual sports. Very few play football or hockey. Fewer follow these games.

Blame it on limited resources such as grounds, infrastructure and fundings or just the mind-set. Even in cricket, fielding is boring, it's the batting that is the most glamorous thing. That's were you get recognition, that's where the moolah is.

So what are the consequences, I see that we are not great team players. We don't understand the importance of delegating responsibilities. Of letting the other guy score the goal if I make the right pass. We don't really learn the idea of bigger picture. Because, we are marred by proving our own capabilities even at the cost of the team. On a macro-level, our projects do not complete in time or never complete most of the times. The word quality - it does not apply to us. We don't respect other person's space because me and the other person is never a team. It's always us and them.

Now, I am not suggesting that team sports is a panacea to all the things but certainly, it's certainly a step forward for creating a sense of pursuing common goals and building communities.


[1] The Taj has ended up in the New 7 wonders of the World. The organization which initiated this IMHO-futile exercise is down with huge losses that it's not doing anything for the great Taj but yeah, we won. Yipeee ! Well, that's another story which does not need to be told.
[2] I think writing software or a new chip design requires very strong teamwork. Especially, in these times. No one person can now a days come up with an outstanding product alone.

Breaking News!

Almost a decade ago, a movie tried to show mirror to the news TV channels. Not surprisingly, it bombed. Sometimes real life stalks reel life that its scary.

1. The chain smokers are protesting against "No Smoking"[1].
2. The PROs are complaining against "Laaga Chunri Mein Daag"
3. Somebody is investigating whether Indian team insulted the Indian Flag.
4. Tech Mahindra has come up with a "decent" dress code for its employees.
5. Gujarat government ordered for blank out of few news channel.
6. Principal of Mumbai college stopped some hundred students because they were dressed. Inappropiately, I must add. There is no nude college anywhere (?).
7. "Dharma" director fought against the adharm done to her by Eklavya. In a twist to the story, it was Eklavya who was wronged in Mahabharata.

So what does it tell you ?
(a) The electronic media is screwing up big time by promoting these stories as mainstream news. Some of them may merit a coverage but with relevance. In the past, it has gone more bizarre. In the process our judicial and news effectiveness graphs take a dip.
(b) The truth is out, we are a bunch of intolerant losers and not those oh-so-gentle-and-warm-ever-smiling-indians that has been projected by the world along with stories of snake-charmers and elephants.
(c) The future looks scarier. There is a progressive rise in the level of in-tolerance and mob mentality. Those who make it to the TV circus are the ones who are heard and seen and talked about. Especially, if you are looking to make your point and whatever that may be.

[1] - I could not get source on the web for this one. I saw it on some news programme.

Chemical Locha

The nuclear deal is no big deal. Thanks to leftist coolants. Its no more a deal. Almost, unless there is some fission in the Communists and some isotopic Commies have fusion with the PM. Which in all Gaussian probability is zilch.

Here is where I don't understand the equation: With no great knowledge of nuclear science and political science, I can understand it makes lot of sense to go and sign the N-deal which gives India an alternate sources of energy. With minimal support, Indian has build reactors and done its nuclear tests which is commendable and now when we are on a verge of growing exponentially and energy is one of the needs that will be cornerstone of India's success. So what are these 40-50 babus are seeing that I am missing. The Red Flag Party is known for making this government red-faced. Its really ironic that CPI, CPM can see through the Himalaya and speak what China s but for US, they have created a Great Wall. I mean how can 40-50 people hold 1 billion for ransom.

Koi to chemical locha hain, Bapu. But you know what, this is my gut feeling in writing, the nuclear deal will happen, I don't know how. Its a mystery.

The Uncrowning Glory!

So I don't know what is the big fuss about Taj. That people are going crazy or at least driving me crazy to vote for it as one of the seven wonders of the world.

How will my vote help ? I know the cliched answer, every vote counts.
But counts for what?
Will it make Agra a more tourist friendly place?
Will it make the Taj less prone to pollutants?
The only wonder I wonder about is how will it benefit with Taj being in the seven wonders of the world?
If I don't vote for Taj does it make it less beautiful?
Why do we associate cricket, or Oscars and now Taj with patriotism? Does it make me less patriotic (sic) if I don't vote for Taj.

For me, the beauty of Taj does not lie that it made into the list. Its beauty lies in full glory on a full moon or in break of dawn when the sun rises. Its beautiful when millions of Indians have hummed odes to Taj in Bollywood movies. Its beautiful when it brings the sense of awe and an insipiring smile on a face. Nevermind, all the hardships one faces because of the administrations.

I don't need the voting - the eight blunder of the world. Your seven blunder list may vary.
I don't need any third party list to say Arre Huzoor Wah Taj boliye !

But those who are still adamant or are keen on "voting" you can vote for Taj here. I am not voting for sure. If Taj loses by a vote, you know who was not patriotic enough.

Also, you can vote for Indion Idol or Voice of India or comedy Circus or Sa Re Ga Ma Pa if you are suffering from CVS (Compulsory Voting Syndrome). Alas, you can not vote for the President of India ! Sorry, tough luck.

NBA - Nation Bachao Aandolan

I have a new president nominee to save the nation, Mr Aamir Khan. He already has shown signs of revolutionizing the constitution. Last week, he went ahead and added one more basic right for every Indian.

Every Indian should own a DVD of Lagaan.

So now, Roti, Kapda aur Lagaan is the new mantra.

He has good credentials, He is a farmer by birth. No, I did not mean that he is dipping his samosas in Kissan ketchup but he is a Kisaan. Jai Lagaan, Jai Kisaan.

He can also fight corruption by bumping off politicians, does it rang any bell ?
Dam(n) it, he can also go and sit with NBA. Though his height may limit him from playing basketball.

And if he wins, expect a new hair-style[1] from him after the trend-setting Dr Kalam's curls which incidentally inspired another Khan in Tere Naam[2].

But wait, Mr Khan is known for disappearing from the public eye for years if he has no movie to release, so there may be a case where we don't see our president for next 5 years. Wish we can say the same for our other politicians !

If there is no other benefit than at least he won't be veiled in purdah whenever we get his glimpse.

The signs are too visible and he does make a very good candidate. Mr Aamir Khan is the right choice, Baby ! A-ha. After all, Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar.

Though my only concern is, does every Indian need to buy a DVD player too ?

[1] - He is going bald in his forthcoming movie oops..movieee I mean. Thanks Himesh !
[2] - I made this strand of connection between Salman Khan and Dr Kalam.

Vent of Paint-up emotions

So this MSU Fine Arts fracas is going real crazy. Chandramohan won a stay of 5 days in jail and still counting. Courtesy BJP and VHP. The PVC[1] and VC[2] have suspended the dean[3]. They have also closed the exhibition. I think they were not invited to open the exhibition at the first place, that's what got them angry. Cos they could not light the lamp, they are adding fuel to the fire.

Somewhere else in India, there is an all-India protest about the whole issue. I wonder why Ahmedabad is not there in the picture.

Also, somewhere else Maneka Gandhi has gone all-human. She is trying to save the human creative aspect. Christ ! What will happen to all the animals. I guess human is an animal too, and some animals are more equal than the others.

If this thing interested you, you can go and visit this blog. You can also leave your signature over here to show that you care.

[1] - Trivia : PVC is used for foot-wear sole.
[2] - Trivia : VC stands for Vice - chancellor. Vice means bad habits.
[3] - Trivia : Dean, in Hindi, means helpless or something like that. You get the drift.

Hurt of a Nation

The people are so touchy these days. They are so sensitive and emotional.

So one BJP leader gets hurt by the painting of Lalit Kala Akademi award winner and a student in MSU Fine Arts. Some MLA in Maharashtra is hurt that Buddha is in the bathroom. Of Rakhi Sawant, no less to get things straight. How dare one put God and Rakhi Sawant in the same room? Have pity on God, at least.

It wasn't only the Big Brother who felt the heat for the most famous lip-lock in the Indian history since Vatsayan days which happened between a Buddha follower and apni Shilpa. Ek Gere aadmi ke saath...Iissssh ! And damn, one will be hurt when somebody Murthy decides that its OK to play the music of the anthem rather than singing it hoarsely. What would happen to so many budding Himeshes who thought Murthy was their Indian Idol ? How dumb Murthy was that he did not know that even a mute person has to compulsorily sing the anthem to show that she cares for the country ?

Of course, Mr Satya Paul did not know that Pallu of the saree can only have the Indian flag not the knee-jerk creativity he showed. How dare he ? To give the credit, he made sure that if not India then some other nation would have got offended with all flag saree for Ms Noodle Straps. 2 minutes it took for her getting vocally flogged. Set. Max. Go. But some people never learn so Ms Bedi goes a step back this time and puts a tatoo of a Sikh symbol on her back. How regressive ! Kuch to sikho Ms Bedi. You should have taken the thing up front instead. How spine less of you to enrage someone's feeling back-to-back.

So it continues, these people are working harder so that the rest of us can express our sentiments and emotions. Who says that world is being indifferent and zombie-like ? Now, I am hurt too. Let me sulk. Not in the corner, Right in front of the world. I want my 15 minutes of shame.

Vote Populi

I can't be blogging right now. I am voting for Sanjaya if the following theory is to be believed.

American Idol: Are Indian call centers skewing the vote ?

Indians are known for voting the worst of the lot. Always.
Take the case of the MLAs and MPs, the BCCI selectors voting for the Indian Cricket team (alright, this one was below the belt, I apologize), the indian franchise of the "Idol" or who can forget the desi version with Qazi Tauqeer winning Fame Gurukul. Gasp.
Now you know now why Shilpa won the Big Brother, for that matter.

Folks, this is just the beginning, after the "Idol' we may even vote for the next President. No not of India, we want Amitabh to be the president of US of A.
USA - The Uttam State of Amitabh or Allahabad, worse Amar. Take your pick and call me.
Though the lines are busy as I am voting for Sanjaya.

Remember why he died....

Is it a new beginning, I wonder ( I am not talking about cricket, not yet.) Or is it a continuum of the last year's legal break through in Jessica Lal's case. Some sixteen months ago, he was murdered by the oil mafia and today the district court ordered death penalty for the prime accused and life-terms for the rest of the accomplices.

But its not over till its over. Its too early to celebrate justice. This is just the district court, the defendants will go to High Court or may be till Supreme court. The public memory is too short, the vision is short-sighted. Its not about one killer. Its about the fight against crime. The idea is to keep the momentum going against the culprits. The key is to never let go hope. Like in another case, the verdict is still open on Satyendra Dubey's murder trial.

Its about remembering why Manjunath died [1].

On this, I urge you to read this wonderful essay "The Banality of Heroism" via Guy Kawasaki's post.

[1] The statement is inspired from a quote in the movie "300".

The Lone Warrior....

Another incident of courage. Another incident of shame.

Shanmugam Manjunath, IIM alumni, working with IOC was brutally murdered for exposing the Oil Mafia in U.P. More can be read here and how world is reacting. In 2003, Satyendra Dubey was killed for the same reason, this time for corruption in Prime Minister's Rs 50,000 crore highway project.

The only silver lining that I want to see is, may be our education system has not yet let us down. These two martyrs were from the two of the most elite institutes, Dubey was from IIT. I really believe somewhere there the value system is still intact.

Somewhere I feel, is it worth it ? Why would one put his life in the line of fire ? Will things ever change ? Is this fight worth ?

I do not have all the answers, but I quote Samwise in LOTR , "There is so much good in this world, and it is worth fighting for..."