Thursday, June 17, 2010

Blast from the Past continues

More blast from the past. I had this urge for creative musings some 10 years back when i was in my 3rd week stay in USA.
It is not at all relevant or significance or will not even make a change in your life. No divine luck will dawn upon you. Neither you will attain salvation reading this. Having eloquently desribed the purpose of it above. Please read on.
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Hi folks,

Its been long time since I wrote..what rot..wrote,kapda aur makaan, but I was really very busy...there comes all the brickbats... but I did miss you all... what no bouquets... oh you caught me this time... howzzat !! thought for writing for so long but when I now sit down to write..I am lost..know not what to write...but phir bhi, read on...

Life in Raleigh, that cannot be describe in one word..

People do ask me how do I feel in america.. (yeah, I am a celebrity..I do miss my fans and I dont have a fan in my home..) well, I do not know about that, its a mix bag.. at times, the feeling is exhilarating and at times frustrating, so nothing has changed, except for the ambience, I mean, the surroundings are different, from India to US but goals and work has not changed, I am still working hard, though its really hard to work at times, I still sleep at odd hours, and during even hours, oh..forget it...

I am scared at times for I cannot foresee the future, what it holds, and I am optimistic at times, that whatever it holds, it holds for good. I get apprehensive and pensive with no funding and aid...but I am ecstatic at least I dont have AIDS... I feel nostalgic and home sick at times..but then remember the times when I used to feel sick at home.. I feel isolated with my best friends not around and I miss them all but then there are times when I feel lucky that I can give some of the people a miss.. I get nightmares that everything is gonna fall apart but I dream that world is gonna be a better place..(altruism,nah..just plain me ...)

So this is really me, I am an ABCD, american based confused desi and I was no better in india where I was a NRI,not required indian, so what has changed, the change is gradual, I am realising my responsibilities, and also realising how to avoid them... though it may take some time to change my perspective... the truth I am not at the center of the world and world does not revolve around me is a revelation... but the Narcissus within me is still alive..no wonder I have so many mirrors in my house...

Life is cold and warm at the same time, its funny and tragic, caring and supporting but also a strict task master... may be life contradicts itself.. even I feel contradiction is my best friend.. its always like these, if there is a Yin then Yang will be somewhere nearby.. a day always follow the night.. good times are right behind the bad.. may be there is Hope, tomorrow is another day !!

If you understood what I wrote please explain it to me, for I could not, I just wrote, Dil Se..

4 comments:

Shunty said...

Yes it was really written Dil Se.
Enjoyed reading it! Nice one :)

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